


Greeting Death as an Old Friend

by Malsang



Series: My Dark-Light Muse [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Horcruxes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 18:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17730137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malsang/pseuds/Malsang
Summary: Not Everybody ends up at King's Cross.Severus Snape POV.





	Greeting Death as an Old Friend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fayet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayet/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Dying Breed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17723591) by [Malsang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malsang/pseuds/Malsang). 
  * In response to a prompt by [Malsang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malsang/pseuds/Malsang) in the [SLY_snakes](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SLY_snakes) collection. 



> Self-prompt-meme fill that a decent background finally presented itself for.
> 
> This one intrigues me, probably because it does not require me to contradict Rowling, merely expand upon what she built. I may have reason to expand it at a later date.
> 
> If anyone else wants to run with this in the meantime, please link to this story as inspiration, claim the same prompt-meme, or post to the same collection, please.

"You have your mother's eyes." _If only I had known then what I know now._ He sighed. _Exit stage right._

Everything was dark. That was comforting at least. He had never liked whiteness and brightness. He liked the unknown of the dark. Here, anything was possible. Here it was hard to know if you were just dreaming.  
    Ahead of him in the darkness, a light was drawing nearer. He turned right to put his back to it, and yelped in fright. Recovering from the shock, he glared at the partly-illuminated dead wizard. "Decided to change your name from Albus to Abnus have you?" he sneered.

Dumbledore smiled, "Very clever, Severus. You always were a very clever man. Is that why you disliked Ms Granger so much? Did she remind you of yourself? Shame that you were so determined to alienate her and hold her back."

"I did no such thing."

"There's no point in lying now, Severus. Occlumency doesn't work here."

"It has always worked within the privacy of my own mind before. That is where we are, is it not? I haven't gone anywhere but inwards."

"Yes and no." Dumbledore stepped forward to draw level with him and turned to face him, the light illuminating him from the left. "Your body is no longer capable of supporting life, Severus. You did not die from the killing curse, as the boy must. He will get a choice to return to his life, for both the way ahead and the path to what lies behind him will be lit. Your choice is very different. Light," he indicated with his right hand, "Or Darkness," he looked back into the inky blackness.

"I would return as a ghost?" Severus looked back.

"There is a vast difference between escaping into the darkness because you do not feel worthy of the light, and being drawn to either unknown, my friend."

"We were never friends."

"Are you quite certain of that? It is one thing not to trust anyone with your secrets, and quite another to become so attached to someone that you do not want to kill them. You kept many secrets from yourself, and yet, you never wished yourself dead." He held out his hand, "What will you offer me, in return for what you want from me this time?"

He felt as if he were a boy again, frightened by his lack of knowledge, facing the ultimate authority figure who held all power over understanding hostage. How could he know what he had that would be sufficiently valuable to such a figure? "Anything."

"And if I were to ask for your love, for your trust? For your weakness, that I might be your strength? For your agony, that I might be your healer? For your secrets, that I might stand in judgment over you? If I were to ask you to give all of yourself to me, to hand over your soul, would you pay that price?"

Severus shivered, "Yes."

"Then come to me."

He accepted the hand held out to him, allowing himself to be pulled into an embrace. It felt so alien to be held like this, as if he were the most precious man in all of the world. He could not hold back his tears. He clung fiercely to his lost friend and enemy, wishing with all of his heart that he could reclaim what had been lost to him. A hand cradled the back of his head, another massaged his back as he cried himself out. Yet he did not feel less for it, he felt as if he had been granted his dearest wish.

"You have," Dumbledore imparted, "Not all soul tearings create horcruxes. Most create the exact opposite. When we give part of ourselves to another, and they die, part of us follows them into death. When you killed me, without wanting to, the part of yourself that tore away, was attracted and became attached to the living part of yourself that you had already given freely to me. What you have given freely, can here be returned to you. You gave me part of your soul, twice. Once as a desperate enemy dependent upon me, and once as my friend when I was desperately dependent on you to keep your promise to me. Now you give me all of your soul which you still possess, in return for understanding. I can return it to you, if you wish, by releasing you. But first, look to your right."

Severus did so, and in the darkness he saw the shadowy forms of those who were still alive that he cared for. He saw Lily's son, his godson Draco and Narcissa near the front of that shadowy crowd, holding out their hands beseechingly to him. But right at the front, he saw Lucius, fallen. The Pureblood was on his knees, broken and defeated, beaten down by the war and nothing like his former glory. His eyes bored into Severus with desperate hunger, yet he was too feeble and afraid to commit himself to stretching out a hand in petition, as the others were doing.

"Now look to your left."

Haloed by light, he saw Lily holding out her hand to him in welcome. The sight was so heart-rending that he could barely focus enough to recognise the face of his own mother standing behind her, let alone anyone else.

"Now look again to your right. Look away from her Severus; remember the Mirror of Erised."

With a heartfelt cry of anguish, he buried his face into Dumbledore's shoulder, allowing himself to be offered comfort against his agony and be shielded from the temptations of the Light. When he could bear it, he looked to his right.

Nearly at their feet, lay Tom Riddle. His snakelike face was contorted with ravenous hunger, hands reaching like claws for them, as he exhaustedly crawled forward.

Only Dumbledore's iron embrace stopped Severus from stepping backwards in fear. "Do not step backwards into the Light out of fear of the Darkness. It is not you he is coming for, but me. Look again to your left."

Barely able to drag his eyes away from the fearful sight, he turned back towards the light, and quailed in terror. Every dead friend and enemy awaited him there, their eyes accusing and condemning him as burning brightness flared behind them, obscuring the faces of those further back. Worst was seeing Crabbe's son at the front, wreathed in flames. But it was scarcely better to see James Potter and Sirius Black flanking the dead Slytherin student.

"When Lily's son gets here, Tom will either be following him, unseen, as he follows me; or he will be awaiting him behind the glare of the Light. Death is only the beginning, Severus. Do you understand? There is no release here. Our souls are fractured and the pieces scattered; held hostage by those whom we love to hate, and those whom we hate to love. I killed Gelert Grindelwald with my own wand. I sent children to kill Tom Riddle on my behalf, and spent most of my adult life driving the sons of Slytherins into the arms of Salazar's heir. I did not truly listen to either of them, Severus. I need your help once more, my friend."

Severus dissolved into hysterical laughter, but he did not pull free. He clutched the old wizard close to him, refusing to sunder their entwined souls. Upon that knife-edge of limbo, trapped between light and darkness, between death and life, he found solace in the absurdity, the poignancy and the irony of it all. "Your brilliant mind has come up with a dastardly scheme to fix all the problems which you have created?"

Dumbledore's voice was warm with amusement, "We're in your mind Severus, remember? Where is the line between saving me, and saving yourself, now? Where is the line between saving yourself, and saving any of those whom you have seen here? Where is the line between them saving themselves, and them saving you? Between them hurting you, and them hurting themselves? Between them killing you, and them killing themselves? Our world is not what we mistook it to be, Severus, it is all Gestalt."

Severus heaved a heartfelt sigh, "There is no line, only different perspectives seen through a glass darkly or brightly."

"Then you are ready to go back. Do you remember that timeturner I 'borrowed' to refine the design of?"

"I do. I am to pull it from the Sorting Hat, am I?"

"Do not be absurd, Severus. One of the more brilliant ideas I ever had, was hiding such dangerous objects in the Mirror of Erised. Take Lucius with you. He has more than enough selfish reasons to wish to change the past than it would require to prime the spell. Besides, he needs your friendship more than he can yet admit, now more than ever. Let this serve as part of his redemption."

"My primary objective?"

"Save Tom Riddle. You and Lucius both know him well enough, that he is a good place to start. After that, you can work your way back. Grindelwald, Gaunt, Slytherin, all those whom the Hallows have destroyed or led astray. Work your way back through time and unravel it. Should you fall, I will be waiting here for you. I'll always be here for you Severus, when you need me the most. I will always catch you, before you have to settle for choosing to side with light or darkness again. I owe you that much. Allow yourself to think of the future as your past, and the past as your future. It will help to keep your priorities straight and keep you sane. As will Lucius. Take care of each other. I can think of no-one more suited to entrust the fate of our world to, than the two of you. And you may tell him that I told you so. There is no-one I trust more implicitly, to undo the miserable fate of Squibs and their future Muggleborn heirs, than Lucius. Let him shine as the light he was named for, and guard him against the pain of isolation and the dangers of being ignored. Will you do this for me?"

"Not for you, no." Severus met his gaze levelly, stepping back as much as possible without letting go of Dumbledore's hands, "For her. Always," and let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for partial inspiration to the Perfectly Ridiculous 'How It Should Have Ended' crew. And thank-you to YouTube for Library->History functionality.
> 
>  
> 
> <https://youtu.be/YsYWT5Q_R_w>


End file.
